Closed Family Ties

They say Filipinos are known for their close family ties but my family is different.  May be you can call us dis functional and make a sitcom about our story.  Crazy at may seems but I guess we just made a lot of detours in or lives.

 This blog was inspired by my favorite uncle.  I never talked to him in ages.  It was so long that I can't remember why I stopped talking to him.  I can't even remember when it started.  Aahh.  I remember now.  It was long ago that his marriage went down the drain.  I never had the chance to talk to him again because we never came back at my lola's house.  We had a conflict with my dad.  My dad who is currently staying there.  I avoided that place.  I never wanted to go back.  I despise the fact that the first man that I loved broke his promise and let me wonder alone in this world.

That was how it started.  He is my favorite uncle I remembered.  I remembered back in the days when I am vacationing in that house and I am waiting for him to go home.  We played so many times.  He even frequently gave me "pasalubongs".

One Christmas, he taught me how to dance.  We danced in the tune of "Close" with my cousin.  He always joked around at the time.  He even made me laughed so hard when he told me that he can do two things at the same time because he has squint eyes or banlag in Tagalog.

He is not like that anymore when I talked to him in Facebook.  According to him, he is in Brazil now. He also said that he misses me and my cousin.  He miss the way he teases us every time he sees us. Actually made me teary eyed because I realized that he is sincere.

He is changed man.  Who am I to deny that? I just hope that he continue his metamorphosis and change in to someone better who will never listen to the evilness around him.

the one that got away part 3

someone told me that i should move on, that i should give up waiting for the one that got away. he told me that there are so many guys out there. If that is true then why can't i feel it? If there are so many guys out there why can't they find me?? typing this statement makes me feel that i am miserable which i don't want to feel...ever!

I don't want to give-up just yet. I'm not a quitter, I'm a fighter. But why can't we end up being together? may be destiny hinders it. As much as I want to quit, some thing is telling me not to.

Every passing day, i always find myself daydreaming. daydreaming the day that i will see him outside AB bldg. waiting, just to see me. But i guess it will just stay as a dream and never a reality.

I love him, knowing that he might not feel the same way as i do. However, I'm still hoping...hoping for that day that he will love me back. I'm still holding on. Holding on to the possibility that he might love me too.

I want to keep my promise. The promise to wait for him even if it takes a lifetime. I will never give up.

If destiny hinders, i will still fight back because I'm hoping to see him again and by that time, he will finally love me.

I LOVE YOU BEFORE AND I WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU TILL THE END OF TIME...and thats a promise

The ONE that got away part two

i played the song "How did you know" by gary v. while writing this possible ending of the story(the ONE that got away) after all, i was playing it while i wrote that blog entry of mine. Sounds cheesy though but i cant help it. By playing the said song, i am hoping that my emotions while writing that entry would come back. But it didn't, its now different.

Yes,he came back. he came back through a text message asking me how im doing. A friend of mine gave my number to him (thank you girl!!). And from then on, we communicated.

I asked him to go to our PASKUHAN(UST's christmas party). He didnt came. May be he is too drunk. Then he ask me to go to their ARRIBA Fest,,,i said no.

Although he came back, i am not quite sure what i am feeling about it. I was fooled so many times by guys that is the reason why i am doubtful of his feelings for me. I want to believe him, i really do but still my brain is telling not to give in again. may be he is plain trippin' and if i believe him, i might end up falling again and i might not stand again.

i am not afraid of love, i am afraid of its consequences for i know i will be hurt again. can you blame me if i hide under my mask?i blame my heart though,,

i dont want to fall but i dont want to be alone,,i really hope that he will be the ONE who will change my views regarding that matter,,i wish he will give the SIgn i asked,,if he will give it then i will know that he really is my ONE.

fooled again

mahirap pa lang mapag tripan. Iyong tipong umaasa kang magbabago sya tapos makakatanggap ka na lang ng text message na may girlfriend na sya. What's up with that?sana pinagtripan ka na lang din sya para walang nawala sa akin. I just wish I could find the guy who will change my mind about my perception regarding guys. I dont want to be fooled again. I feel like a fool, believing his sugar coated lies. Sana hindi na lang nya sinabi,but then, mukhang tanga pa rin ako nun. Whats better?the fact that you're so naive in whats happening or the fact that you know that you are being fooled once more? I think both of them are painfull, i can't even bare one. I don't know why he told me. May be he is a sadist and i am a masochist for letting him fool me and experience the pain once more...

NOW PLAYING: Parting time

will i regret it?

remember my previous post about a guy that got away?argh!! i think he is reading my posts right now,,will i regret giving him my weblink??if he only knew that he is the ONE,,the ONe..haiz,,

aahhh!!!..nosebleed!!

one reader of my blog reacted on one of my posts. I guess he was greatly affected by my emotions that he taught he was the guy i'm telling about in that particular blog. He is one of my close friends...if you are reading this blog,,i just want to say its not all bout you...you taught wrong so stop reacting in english you're making my head hurt and you are making my nose bleed....i can't understand what you're saying kasi e..

where's my cellphone!!!

I was in a jeepney(a kind of land transportation in the Philippines) this morning when I lost my phone. I'm still in the state of shock right now because it's my first time to be mob. Not actually mob but to lost something so valuable to me is a first for me. I don't know who to blame...Should I blame my shitmate in the said jeepney or me? or maybe dave is right,,maybe i should blame poverty but it's not just right...to be unjust is the nature of all being but i don't agree..i think to be just should be the nature of all human beings!! i hate poverty!! I hate unjust people...in short I HATE INJUSTICE!! specially when it happens to me or to anyone i know